We have a daughter!
Falling in love.
In love.
She was much bigger than I thought and outweighed Avery by 10 ounces.
Daddy's go to calming technique. Very effective.
Enjoying her first bath.
We can't take our eyes off of her.
A quiet moment with Mom.Lots of braxton hicks contractions, some even 5 minutes apart for a few hours, but nothing too serious. I knew for the most part that they were all practice contractions.
Monday July 5:
I can't wait any longer (my misery factor had reached peak levels) so I switched my Wednesday acupuncture appointment to today (acupuncture started my labor with Avery). I made the initial appointment on Wednesday to try and have the baby on Sarah's birthday, the 8th, but the thought of being pregnant for two more days was just more than I could wrap my head around. Sorry, Sarah.
When I got home, Scott, Avery and I went for our last family of three walk down Col-fax (Avery's favorite street) to get me a decaf iced coffee.
That night, my contractions intensified and I slept on the sofa because it was more comfy. I knew that when I got up, things would start so I wanted to maximize rest time.
Tuesday July 6:
Early morning: When I woke up, my contractions became a little stronger and more regular. I knew I was in early labor. Scott and I had a midwife appointment at 8:30am (we also had a Dr. appointment the morning of Avery's birth, and were comforted by the familiar time table we were experiencing). However, per our tradition, Scott and I got into a little tiff that morning (we also got into it on our wedding night) because he was running later than I would have liked. Well, I lost my patience and said, "I should just drive myself," which he countered, "Go ahead." So I did.
We made up by the time we got to see the midwife because I really didn't want to be angry with him on the day of our daughter's birth. Annoyed, maybe, but not angry. The midwife checked me and said that I was 4cm dilated and 100% effaced which is enough to get one a direct check-in to the labor and delivery ward of St. Joe's. However, since we had two cars in the parking lot, we decided to go home, consolidate the vehicles and relax. The Price is Right was on. My contractions started to increase in frequency and were a little more painful. I knew they were real labor contractions but still nothing too terrible.
Since I had tested positive for group B strep, we had to get to the hospital a little earlier than I would have liked in order to get at least one round of antibiotics in. We called the doula and she met us there. I was encouraged when we left the house that my contractions were 3-5 minutes apart and getting more painful. However, after we got checked into the hospital, they really dropped off and I quickly became bored. Yes, I was in labor and I was bored.
We watched some of the World Cup, I got my antibiotics, monitored the baby, was annoyed by the doula (who impressively recognized this and excused herself for awhile), checked my facebook, sat on an exercise ball with nipples, put some stinky rice filled sock on my belly, yadda, yadda, yadda. Around 1:30pm I told Scott to go get some lunch and a movie thinking that we were going to be there for quite a while.
While Scott was gone, the delivery midwife checked me and I was 5cm dilated. Yeah, that's right, I dilated a whopping 1cm in 5 hours. If I hadn't made progress she was thinking about sending me home. She also mentioned breaking my bag of waters to get things going and I told her I would discuss it with my husband when he got back from getting lunch.
By the time Scott got back around 2:20pm, a change had in intensity had occurred. My contractions were definitely painful, requiring some good old fashioned moaning. From there, things started go at lightening speed.
* I start begging Scott for an epidural telling him I can't do this and I don't want to do this. He did not give in and offered encouragement. I knew that this was going to happen and we had talked about what his response should be when the time came and he did marvelously. I think the fantasy of being able to escape that pain helped me a little. However, I do think that I knew I could do it because I didn't ask the doula or nurse for drugs, just Scott.
* I'm having trouble using the word pain for what I experienced. My contractions with Avery before the epidural were excruciatingly painful and what happened to me on July 6 was on a totally different scale. There was the most intense pressure coupled with the most violent pain. There are no words.
* The doula runs a bath and even though I make it to the bathroom, I cannot get into the tub. I stand there naked for some time trying to find a moment between the contractions to get in.
* At some point I start screaming because that's the only way I can get through what my body is doing. And I'm not talking "roller coaster" screaming, I talking warrior, banshee wailing, the loudest noise I can possible make. I was that woman and probably freaked more than a few people on the L&D ward out.
* I finally make it into the tub, but the pressure on my bottom was the most intense, awful feeling and I have a death grip on the safety rails and continue my screaming. I remember telling the doula that I can't and she made me make eye contact with her. That split second helped me focus, but soon after I was back to my banshee self.
* I think that I have to push. For some reason, I didn't think it was the baby, but I thought that pushing would relieve the pressure. Saying this put everyone into overdrive because you are not allowed to give birth in the bath tub. Scott ran to the nurses station to see how best to haul me out of the tub, came back and got me out. Someone put a blanket around me and got me to stand next to the bed.
* Everything at this point is a total blur. I had my glasses off, but I was also blinded by pain/pressure. The nurses and/or midwife try and get me into bed but I can't move. Eventually, I slink down on a narrow sliver of bed and returned my death grip on the bed rails. There is more screaming.
* The nurse checked me and my water broke. This relieved the heinous pressure in my bottom but instantly transferred into, "That's someone's head down there!!!" I was at 10cm and ready to go.
* Since I had slinked, I was on my right side, so Scott was instructed to lift up my left leg so that I could push. The midwife told the doula to stop talking so that she could instruct me (in between all of the screaming) and help me deliver the head.
* I. Felt. Everything. Forehead. Eyebrows. Nose. Cheeks. Mouth. Chin. Shoulder (oh, the shoulder!)
* I did not let up my pushing which could have let the baby slip back in, but instead was guided by the midwife and delivered her head and shoulder. At this point she had Scott come around (it did not feel good to have my leg dropped) so that he could reach down and deliver the rest of the baby. This was the moment for him. He reached down and grabbed the baby under her arms and put her on my chest. A few moments later, he cut the cord and our baby was out!
What a moment. What a feeling. The intensity was staggering. I was SO overwhelmed with both joy and whatthehelljusthappened. I cried. She cried. He cried. Vivienne Sam Turbow was finally here. Those first few moments with her were filled with love, joy, disbelief, physical pain (it still hurt after she was born), wonder, shock and awe.
Vivi started nursing right away and I was reluctant to take her off my breast so that Scott could hold her. Avery was not a great nurser and I wanted another chance with her. He was not happy with me, relatively speaking because as he told me later, "I fell in love the second I saw that blue Smurfette." Vivi was quite blue when she was born. She also peed and pooped on me. She stayed with me for over an hour before before the tortured Daddy got to hold his little girl. I could see the wash of LOVE come over Scott as he bonded with his daughter.
Eventually, the nurse came in to give her a bath and get her stats. I was shocked that she was so big relative to Avery. 7 pounds 13.5 ounces versus 7 pounds 3 ounces since I had gained only 28 pounds with her and 42 with Avery.
Vivi loved getting her hair washed (she still does) and cried during the body cleaning portion. Soon, we were packed up and moved to the recovery room. I still felt very shell shocked about the birth and am honestly still processing it. I am proud that I did it because I would have always wondered and regretted it if I hadn't, but it was hell. I was expecting to feel that high women talk about right away, but I didn't. It hurt too badly and the pain did not go away after she came out. It took awhile. I did experience what I described as 'post partum euphoria' for about a week after her birth and I think that it was a version of that high I was hoping for. I keep describing it as a 'cocoon of love' that surrounded me and Vivi. I didn't want to be out of contact with her for one as we bonded. It was a marvelous experience and if I got that because of the natural childbirth, then it was worth it. I want to thank everyone, mostly Sarah, who watch Avery during this time because I felt secure knowing that he was well cared for in order for me to bond with his Sister. I will always cherish this time.
In addition, Vivi was much more responsive and alert right after birth than Avery was and that's the biggest difference I noticed. After Avery's birth, we both acted like we had just been abducted by aliens, probed and returned to Earth. Plus, Avery had some respiratory distress which I learned can be caused by epidurals. I don't know what can be attributed to natural v. medicated births, but I'm thankful that I got to experience both. Now, ask me if should we have a third child which route would I go and I would have to get back to you on that.
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