mother's day

All I ever want on Mother's Day is a nice picture of me and my loves.

I've learned that achieving this goal is much easier when we put the camera timer on, let Avery push the button and then scramble into place

The outdoor shots didn't got as well but Viv was willing to stand on the circles. Avery not so much. There were rocks needing to be played with.

Yeah, those rocks. Right there.

Down the drain they go.

Inspired by "Am I Mom Enough? A Motherhood Wishlist" by Kara Baskin, I decided to formalize the ongoing mental list of the hopes I have for my children. I think it is very important that children know what is expected of them and for parents to prioritize which lessons are most important, because as we all know, you can't choose every battle. This list also blends together the "Just in Case" letter I have also mentally composed. So, without further ado, here is an attempt to put into words what I hope for my children as they journey into adulthood:

I hope to raise children who have perspective – about their lives, about the lives of others and about the world. 
 

I hope to raise polite children who say “please” and “thank you” and really mean it.

I hope to raise children who are aware of their surroundings.

I hope my children will offer a helping hand when someone needs it.  

I hope my children will look people in the eye when ordering at a restaurant, when saying “I love you,” and when saying “I’m sorry.”

I hope my children will learn that it is not necessarily the mistakes we make that define us but rather, what we do to fix those mistakes. 

I hope to raise children with a strong work ethic. I hope that things come easily enough to keep them engaged and interested but not so easy that they never learn to work. I hope to instill in them the value of working hard and the satisfaction that comes from it. 

I hope to raise children who lose graciously and win without bragging. They need to experience loss so that they may know how good it feels when they do succeed.

I hope my children are kind. I hope they never embrace that false sense of self-worth that comes from being mean or cruel to others. I hope my children will stick up for those being bullied. 

I hope to raise children who realize that life is unfair and it is not necessarily my job to make it fair: Some people are born rich or good-looking. Some people are handed things that they don’t deserve. Some people luck into jobs or wealth that they don’t earn. Tough.

I hope to raise children who get what they want just often enough to keep them optimistic but not enough to make them spoiled.

I want my children to experience delayed gratification. 

I hope to raise children who know that they are loved and special but that they are not the center of the universe and never, ever will be.

I hope to raise children who enjoy life’s tiny pleasures—people watching, chocolate, sleeping in on a Saturday.

I hope to raise children who are open-minded and curious about the world without being reckless.

I hope my children travel. 

I hope my children love to read.

I hope my children find passion in life and develop interests that keep their lives fulfilling and meaningful. 

I hope my children are truthful and honest in relationships and seek out people who positively contribute to their lives. 

I hope my children spend little time worrying about what other people think about them, except for the really, really important ones.

I hope my children make quality friends and realize that the worthwhile ones will require some effort. 

I hope my children will be able to laugh at themselves. 

I hope my children are forgiving of the mistakes Scott and I make.

I hope my children deeply love each other and will not only be brother and sister, but close friends.

Avery and Vivienne, as your parent, I will try to the best of my ability to help you develop a joyous and meaningful life. I know that you two are your own people and ultimately you will make your own choices and decide what is most important. Should those things differ from my own values, I hope to respect your individuality and celebrate the people you choose to become. I hope your lives are intentional. 

Finally, my promises to you:

I promise to try not to diminish your experiences because of your age. 

I promise to provide you with the appropriate space to grow and learn.

I promise to let you make mistakes. 

I promise to celebrate in your successes.  

I promise to lead by example.

I promise to love you unconditionally...forever.