recently said

Me to Viv: It's hard to take you seriously when you're naked with a chair on your head.

Nikki: I can't think of anymore weird animal facts off the top of my head.
Viv: Then use the bottom of your head.

Viv: I want to tell you a story that I read with my own mind.

Avery: You can't do a bicycle kick wearing wedding shoes.

Avery: I would eat my least favorite vegetable over blueberries.

Avery: I sacrificed cake for soccer.

Scott: Do we have to go to your gala?
Avery: Daddy, I didn't stand on my feet for 10,000 minutes practicing singing to not show up at my gala.

Viv (while reading): Does it make the hard H sound? (Avery thought this was particularly hilarious)

Avery: He was playing some Beethoven and got carried away (about Hukum, the piano teacher)

Viv: Don't you like the vagina, Daddy?

Viv: Diarrhea of a Wimpy Kid.

Viv: Mommy, are you a spectarian?
Avery: You mean pescatarian.

Avery: Mexican Lucky (Daft Punk's Get Lucky)

Avery to Viv: Just like you're an attraction to dogs, I'm an attraction to babies. They always just crawl to me.

From Nikki: Viv asked me if bread was good for you. I said in moderation it's ok. She said, but there's no moderation in bread.

From Nikki: She wants to know why it's called a bathing suit and not a water suit.

When Viv had to carry the cooler with a strap: I want to wear it as a cross body.

Scott: You know you've been going to your barber for a long time when she asks if that is a new shirt.

36 year old at yoga: I prefer my bananas a little green.

Avery: Grown-up books are boring. They're only about people's lives. Kids' books are about adventure.

Viv: you can eat the wrapper of a cucumber.

Text From Nikki: OMG!! Avery just told me the funniest thing. He was taking a shower and said I wish I could trade my ball (yes, testicle) in for another life when I die. But girls would be lucky if they could trade in the millions of babies in their tummy. Because that's a lot. Actually, I want each ball to be worth a million lives. But you would keep your knowledge in your head through each life so you would already know all the answers in school.